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Posts Tagged ‘college’

Practice Made Perfect by Roberto Moretti

I’m a 22-year old college graduate, and I lack discipline.

One of the harshest realities of my generation is that every year there are hundreds of thousands of us that graduate from a university and end up not knowing what to do after that.  I grew up in an environment where the ideal path was to go to school, get a degree in something I am good in, and then make money to be happy.  But even when told what to do, and even though I paid attention to every single lecture, I’m still as clueless as Alicia Silverstone.  Call me a tweenager, twixter, or lazy good-for-nothing, but that still does not change the fact that I feel like I’m lacking something to achieve my goals.

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Penis Pokey

He lifted his shirt and my face twisted and turned in on itself at the sight of his backside.  Craters upon craters of back-ne, and a soft red patch of skin, in the little red ridge between the lower back and his ass, hinted at the idea that his fingernails were known to visit the area often.  A loud, awkward laugh erupted in the back of my throat, and my attempts to stifle it only accented the staccato pauses between the “ha’s.”

“Hey!  Don’t laugh.  Now sit your brown ass in that chair and read me a bed time story!”

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Her Gift

Great Masters of American Art

Have you ever received a gift that made you wince, no matter how hard you tried to like it?  She bought me a thick, lovely, little book on the “Great Masters of American Art.”  But every time I look at it, I can’t help but be reminded of a relationship that really tortured my first year of college.  Cue the dramatic organ.

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From a Cool Person

Pink Panties

I don’t know what to do with these.

When I received the pink, lacey, Charlotte Russe panties, I convinced myself that I was going to keep them for as long as I could. They were the congratulatory pat-on-the-back for a job well-done. I remember I cracked a joke and she threatened to snatch them back if I was going to act unappreciative. It was my first pair of conquest panties and I was not going to let them be indian gifted.

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Is This You?

It was my second year of college, and the last day I would live in the apartments on campus.  I thought I learned my lesson from the year before when I shared a small room with two guys and all of our cramped belongings made it practically impossible to live there.  Moving into my second-year apartment, I made sure to pack a couple bags of clothes, a small stack of books, and my computer stuff in one neat little tote bag.  On the last day I was surprised to find out that in order to extradite my belongings I required a dozen trash bags, multiple trips from my hometown to the school, and a couple of dumpster drops from the second floor.  I did not learn my lesson between first and second year.

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